I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
