did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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