you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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