Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
