what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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