Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
