that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
