Already got asked if we're dating
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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