I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Farmville is her only friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
