I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize