a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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