Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
