Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
