Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
