my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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