I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
