so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
