my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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