if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
