How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
