my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
