tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize