i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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