you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
