i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
