oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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