I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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