I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
