he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
