this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
