1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
