CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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