I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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