You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
