Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
