if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
