I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
