one two three fourrrrnication!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
