I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize