we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
