dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
