I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
