come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize