I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
