wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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