i would punch a child for taco bell
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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