last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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