I think im going to throw up on grandma
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
