I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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