It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it because I queefed?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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