I hate your face
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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