Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
