Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
