We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
