i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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