my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am one with the molecules
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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