Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
only if we run a train.
done.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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