Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
