plz talk dirty to me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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