I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
