the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
