dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize