he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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