Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
